Thursday, April 14, 2011

Insomnia.... despite anti-histamines....?

  The last week or so I have been taking Benadrayl at night to see if it will help me sleep/along with it helping my seasonal allergies which happen to be going crazy with everything blooming.  I still lay awake in bed, despite the drugs drowsy effects sedating my eyes.  Even once I get to sleep I have intense bizarre endless dreams that make me more tired once I'm awake, recalling the crazy surreal world my mind somehow conjured up. 

 I used to have such vivid dreams I would actually fight sleeping- I was affraid to let it take me to a dark place I could never get myself out of.  I'd wake up drenched in sweat feeling like Alice in Wonderland having just returned from an acid trip dream world. 

 I played guitar tonight for the first time in a long time for a friend.  I was nervous since I hadn't sang in what feels like forever, especially in front of anyone.  When I played one of the songs I wrote and he had tears in his eyes totally shocked I'd written it.  I didn't realize how much I missed the way the smooth neck of the guitar felt as I dug the thick metalic chords into the tips of my fingers, and belted for the first time in months.  It felt fantastic.  My fingers are still sore from playing; re-establishing the faded calluses embeded in my left hand. 

Anti-histamines...take me to Wonderland...perhaps let me stay a while.  I'm so very sleepy.




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